Originally I wanted to write a review about the Fringe show that I had seen earlier, but when I heard the news I wasn't able to finish that post. It will have to wait until tomorrow...
I am shocked and I am fighting tears as I am writing this, because I am sitting at reception trying to do my night shift. But my heart hurts and I feel the urge to write this.
The internet right now is flooded with posts and tweets about him. Everyone is shocked and everyone knows that with Robin Williams' death there will be a gap in a lot of people's lives that no one can fill. He was such a unique figure, he could be the funniest person in the world but he could also make you think, sometimes even cry and there might be a few roles where he actually scares me. But somehow he was always different in a cool way.
While I was talking with some of my hostel kids about his death we also talked about his movies and characters. It was bitter sweet, because some of these movies are part of our child hood and we dearly love them but the guy who made us laugh and cry at the same time, isn't around anymore. And pretty quickly while we were talking someone, probably even me, mentioned "Dead Poets' Society" - one of my favourite movies of all times.
And I am not just saying that, you can look at old internet profiles or even back to the days when I still had pen-pals, that movie always made it on the list of my favourite movies.
I don't actually know when I first watched the movie, but I must have been a teenager and I was so deeply impressed.
For those who haven't watched it, Robin Williams plays an English teacher returning to the rather conservative school he once attended as a boy to teach a class of teenage boys. He is different than the other teachers, doesn't believe in classic teaching methods and encourages his students to think for themselves and discover the beauty of poetry on their own terms. Some of them embrace it and discover themselves and some real talent within.
And that impressed me so much as rebellious teenager. I am not even sure what I was protesting against, I think that has just always been part of me and probably always will be. But back then apart from having a crush on the actors playing the teenagers, Dead Poets' Society just hit a nerve. The message of not listening to authorities and doing things on your own terms and using your own mind to learn and understand things spoke to my soul, laud and clear. It is okay to walk outside of familiar paths and discover what lies beyond the known and safe, because it makes you discover yourself and be who you really are. And boy, can I relate to that! I am quite sure that this movie had a little part in me becoming who I am and reminding me every now and then when I would re-watch it, that I should do things I want and not the things people expect of me.
Back in the movie the new found freedom of course can't last forever for the students and the teacher and things fall apart in a rather tragic way. I am not going to go into details, I don't want to spoil too much but it ends with the teacher having to leave school. I believe it is the last scene (I haven't watched the movie in years, but will do that as soon as I finish work) where he is leaving the classroom and half the students, one by one climb onto their desk and say "Oh Captain, My Captain" which relates to one of the lessons he taught earlier in the year. It is one of the most beautiful scenes in film history and makes me cry every single time, now probably more than ever.
So as Robin Williams is leaving this classroom, this school called life, I shout into the world "Oh Captain, My Captain!" as a farewell and although I am sad he is gone, I am SO THANKFUL for this movie in particular and I have the utter most respect for his entire work.
May heart goes out to his family.
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